The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner


I’m interrupting my blogging hiatus to bring you a new book review . . .

When Jonathan and I were engaged, his parents loaned us their copy of the Love & Respect conference on CD and we listened to it on our forever-long road trip between Indiana and Minnesota. The concept, in it’s simplest terms, is that women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. The truth resounded with us so much that we decided to incorporate it into our traditional wedding vows, each of us adding a line at the beginning . . .

“I promise to treat you lovingly as we serve God together . . . I promise to treat you with respect as we serve God together.”

Though I probably don’t think about it as often as I should, I’ve been amazed at the difference respecting my husband makes in our relationship. So when I had the opportunity to review The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner, I thought it would be a good refresher. The subtitle, 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband sounded great, like the women’s answer to The Love Dare.

For the most part, it was. Though I wasn’t able to read through and complete the dares one day at a time, I read through each dare, considering how I might answer the questions and how the challenges could make a difference in my marriage. I found a wealth of wisdom about being a good listener, making my husband’s interests my own, and stating the facts rather than speaking out of emotion. A few of the dares also challenged me to deepen my relationship with the Lord by making time for Him and trusting Him with life’s details.

Some of the dares, though, just seemed out of place—several were more focused on the wife described in Proverbs 31. While that’s also good information, it’s not what I was expecting. And many of the illustrations didn’t line up either. For example, Dare 19—Seventeen Frying Pans—was more about running an orderly home than it was about respect. While you could draw a connection between the two, Roesner failed to do so. Despite the subtitle, the book seemed torn between two purposes: highlighting the successes of her Daughters of Sarah program (which I’m sure is wonderful) and actually helping women to respect God and their husbands like the cover suggests.

That said, I still felt the content of this book was solid, and I’d recommend it for women who are ready to change their marriages by changing their attitudes. The dares are great for women in all stages of marriage—newlyweds and those who have been married for decades. And though I found it helpful to read on my own, I think it would be even better as a small group study. Reading through the book with other women would provide a safe place for discussion, wisdom-sharing, and accountability.

**I received a free electronic copy of this book from in exchange for my honest review. My opinion of this book is my own and was not influenced by the publisher or the author.


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